Gate 22

I arrived at the airport, was first in the queue,

for baggage, then security, I made my way through

to the world of departures, hand luggage times two,
no business merely pleasure on a trip to Peru.

Some toddlers were screaming desperate for the loo,
with others streaming games just for something to do.
Stag-dos, hen-dos on the way to Corfu,
but their flight was delayed so still time for a few.
I headed to a cafe for a much-needed brew,
and after led my path to dodge the hullabaloo.
It was then I scratched my head as confusion grew,
down a spooky spiral staircase, it was freezing cold too.
I tiptoed around, blank signs hanging askew,
a triumphant guard appeared out of the blue.

We're not impressed by people like you, who
check-in online so time is no big issue.
You fill in a crossword, every cryptic clue,
then sip a glass of wine and eat tiramisu.
A laptop in hand you scour every review
of luxury hotels that have a room with a view.
Let's ruin your clockwork, it's time to eschew
the borderline boredom you bring to our crew.
We like panic, we love manic and let chaos ensue,
like passports expiring, no time to renew.
We're sick of the sight of your tickety-boo
smugness on your flight so we're turning the screw.
Congratulations matey, it's now time that you knew
you are this week's champion, our gate 22.